woman lying in bed looking at the blinds in the window
UC Davis philosopher Hannah Tierney studies the idea of blameworthiness and what it means to successfully make amends. (Annie Spratt/Unsplash)
Feeling Guilty? There’s a Cure for That


 

At some point, everyone hurts someone. Whether we kill the plants we promised to keep alive or do something much more serious, what we do afterward can mean either sleepless nights full of guilt or the chance to let guilt go.

“There are better and worse ways to blame yourself, and if you do it well you can actually become less blameworthy for your wrongs,” said Hannah Tierney, an associate professor of philosophy in the College of Letters and Science at UC Davis.

Tierney studies the idea of blameworthiness and what it means to successfully make amends. Her research focuses on the reparative process that unfolds after someone causes harm. It also offers insight into how to ease burdens of national guilt that might affect people across a society.

Why we feel guilt and blame

Tierney is a moral psychologist, a research specialization within philosophy that studies the psychology of our moral practices, judgments and emotions. Tierney became interested in the idea of self-blame when thinking about people who are immediately remorseful after doing something wrong.

One prominent idea about the role of blame in our emotional lives is that it only serves to generate guilt and moral understanding in the person who causes harm. For a person who almost immediately feels adequately — and deservedly — guilty for the harm they caused, according to this idea there would be no point in blaming them. They already feel bad, so guilt’s job is done.

Tierney argues that this perspective, that considers blame only in terms of the person who did wrong, is mistaken. Feeling guilty is only one part of ultimately ending blameworthiness. A person’s blameworthiness must also consider the perspective of the person who was harmed and what is owed to repair that harm.

Repairing harm caused actually benefits both sides. It not only benefits the person who was harmed, but can also reduce pain for the person who caused harm — guilt is associated with a need to confess and make amends.

Taking action on guilt is critical, as guilt can become maladaptive and cause its own kind of harm. Unexpressed, private guilt tends to linger and becomes harder to overcome. Tierney said that taking steps toward reparation is a way we can blame ourselves more effectively.

How to stop feeling guilty by making amends

Tierney said that when we blame ourselves for having caused harm, we should express that blame to those we have wronged. This critical step starts the process of repairing that harm, which provides the person harmed what they are owed and renders the person who caused harm less blameworthy.

Through this process, which might be complicated and drawn out, both sides are able to settle what is required to fully repair the harm. Tierney argues that once all reparative obligations are complete, it is no longer fitting nor appropriate to blame the guilty party.

Of course, there are cases when making amends isn’t possible. Sometimes the person we hurt is a stranger we never see again. Sometimes a person dies. In these cases, we might never fulfill our reparative obligations in a way that could render us no longer blameworthy.

“That could explain why we feel guilt long after the person that we've wronged dies, because we're not able to fully discharge these obligations that would render us not blameworthy,” said Tierney.

Addressing guilt and blame as a society

This concept of blameworthiness and reparation can apply beyond individual relationships. There are cases of “national guilt” in which one group of people, or a government, harms another group of people. This kind of historical guilt exists in every part of the world.

Some countries have taken steps toward national reconciliation, which starts by acknowledging harm. Most famously, South Africa’s Government of National Unity, led by President Nelson Mandela, established the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in 1995. That effort sought to help the nation address and heal harm caused by a long period of violence and human rights abuses that took place under apartheid.

Tierney is careful to note that there are important differences between group and individual reparative obligations. With individuals, both sides can settle on appropriate obligations. This becomes much more complicated when groups are involved.

“What are the conditions under which a group wrongdoer could be said to have satisfied their reparative obligations to another group?” she said. “Will it require everyone in the other group accepting these reparations? What if there's one person who thinks that this isn't enough?”

What about shamelessness?

This year, Tierney was named a 2025 College of Letters and Science Dean's Faculty Fellow for her research. Much of her current work focuses on how wrongdoers and victims can work together to repair past wrongs. In order to engage in this process, wrongdoers must understand, or at least be open to hearing about, how their actions were wrong and harmful.

But some people may be incapable or unwilling to admit fault in this way. Tierney’s research does not provide answers on how to engage with such people.

“I was talking with some friends recently and they were very interested in talking about the kind of person who refuses to admit fault or take responsibility,” said Tierney. “That is something I’m thinking about now.”


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